2015 has me thinking that my “ordinary” is about surrender and trust. My plans are changing constantly, due to family and other needs. I’m learning to surrender my own plans to God and trust in His will. Aaaand…it’s not an easy lesson. I like my week to flow smoothly and without interruption. I like our life running along like normal without the drama of sickness, late nights, and whatever other deviations from the status quo threaten my peace and calm. Does this make me old? I almost sound like a grouchy old lady. Maybe it’s partly the winter blahs. Or the mid-year homeschool-mom anxiety about the all the holes in our curriculum. Or maybe it’s discontent placed on my heart by God Himself, urging me to seek Him for peace and not rely on my silly worldly plans.
Yeah, that must be it. I was getting pretty cozy in my day-to-day, thanking God nightly for our blessings and such. Then I started thinking I ought to pray to know and do His will in all things. Funny how prayer works. Be careful what you ask for, you know? I mean, we do God’s will. We pray as a family, go to Mass weekly and sometimes even more often, go to Confession, tithe, pass the faith on to our children, follow the Commandments, celebrate the liturgical year, you know the drill.
And God of course has more in mind. He wants me to follow when I don’t wanna. When my kids are whiny and our plans for the day have changed so that dinner is late? Following then means patience.
When the cupcakes for Fence’s squadron just won’t bake right and I feel like throwing cupcake pans and channeling Gordon Ramsey? Following then means just trying again and making another batch, meanwhile thanking my kids for their help and patience while we do this quick “good deed” for some college kids.
When school isn’t working according to hopes and dreams and at least one child needs a change? Realize sometimes change is necessary, take a deep breath, beg God for the answer written plainly, in dozens of owl-delivered envelopes (Harry Potter reference for those who haven’t read it) that just can’t be ignored.
See, God doesn’t want my perfect plans. He knows my dreams and hopes, but He also knows what is better and best for us, according to His plan. He doesn’t even expect (though I am sure He hopes) for me to respond perfectly to His plans. He only wants me to be faithful, prayerful, trusting in Him.
And that is my ordinary, lately. Surrending my plans for His, and learning better faith and trust. I won’t lie; it’s not easy. I’m trying to learn to do this thing with less grumbling and pouting, also. After all, tantrums aren’t pretty in a 34-year old.
“…there is something holy, something divine hidden in the most ordinary situations, and it is up to each one of you to discover it.” St. Josemaria Escriva, Passionately Loving the World[inlinkz_linkup id=492252 mode=1]