Love, Mom

She was turning 7, and somehow I already knew that we would need tools for conversation. Perhaps it was something about her personality and my personality not always clicking, I figured that at some point, spoken words might fail. Or maybe it had to do with me being new at all things “mom” with her, because is my first child. All the milestones, all the growing up is new with her. I thought and hoped that a journal might help our communication then and in the future.
Knowing that hard life questions and issues waited in the future, I wanted to build a foundation of trust and openness. I wanted to start early, before tween-age angst, eye-rolls, and sass. And well, if I’m being honest, it was a bit of a selfish dream. I wanted the journal to be a special tangible part of our mother-daughter relationship, as well as a tool to talk about awkward things when face-to-face conversation felt unbearable. The journal was and is just as much for me as it is for my daughter. 
Whatever instinct kicked in and sent me on the creative path to give her journal that year, I’m so glad I listened. Those angsty, difficult years were about to beat down our door. I simply had no way to know what lay ahead for my sweet first-born child. I just thought it was a sweet, girly, mom-daughter gift. It was going to have notes about school, dreams, crushes, and a few awkward questions about growing up. Or so I thought. Never did I imagine that before age ten we’d have the journal as a key tool to seeking mental health help. Never did I foresee that writing letters would be a safe outlet for the magnitude of emotions and experiences we’ve encountered so far. 

My youngest daughter struggled through her third and fourth year, with fits of anger and frustration. It was so hard to feel helpless and unable to make a change for her. Once we figured out a diet change, life significantly improved for her. I know a journal wasn’t going to help in those young years, and since then I didn’t feel a need or a pull to give her a journal as early as I did to my first daughter.

Now my Sweet Pea is in junior high, and she’s growing up into a beautiful, unique young lady. She doesn’t struggle much since those few years so long ago, praise the Lord. We have avoided a good deal of tween angst with her. Sure, I can still see when she’s about to reach her “fuming” level of anger, and her “I’m getting upset and aggravated” stare is fierce. But she’s mellow, content with who she is, and thus far not sending my mama-bear instincts into active mode.

It just a few weeks ago when I gifted her our first journal to write together. Even though she hasn’t written back, I know this is going to be a special place to share hopes and fears, joys and frustrations as she grows into a young woman. It may be that for some time, only my words cover the pages, to assure of her my love, to encourage her before a game or school event, to leave a small prayer tucked inside. 

Journaling with my girls is a game-changer. It’s been a life-changer.

I wanted to share our experience with you, and give you some ideas to start your own journal. My newest project, “Love, Mom” is packed with why I started, what it’s meant to us, and more. It includes print-your-own pages, too. You can make stickers, you can print mini encouragement cards to tuck into a journal or lunchbox. I hope you’ll be inspired to start this beautiful tradition with your daughters.

Find “Love, Mom” in my Etsy shop! It’s at a special promo price for the week of November 1!

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